We all know her name. We've watched the shows. We've watched the news cover her weddings. We've heard her name connected to infamous photos and controversy. For almost 10 years, her name has been thrown around, and whether you admit it or not, she's been relevant for that long. Yup, Kim Kardashian.
Now I won’t lie, I do watch the show.
While interviewing the Kardashians, Oprah said their family is a “phenomenon,” and she is right. But this post is really about how to live out your dreams, which I’ll get to.
First, let’s get something out the way. Living your dreams and desires is one of the scariest things to tackle. If you ever decided to go back to school, you know how terrifying it can be—how you didn’t want to tell your family members because you assumed they’d judge. Maybe a friend doesn’t believe you can finish law school and pushes you to just stay in your work cubicle. Maybe your mom thinks investing in a self-help program is a waste of money. Maybe your best friend thinks your new guy isn’t good enough for you, or your outlook on life is destructive and out of the norm.
This is why reality TV is so popular. These shows star fairly regular people who have the same troubles and concerns as you and millions of others. We tune in and watch them live their lives, say things they shouldn’t, make decisions that we may be to scared to make for fear of the consequences. Of course, we have all made a mistake or two, but was it a risk? Had you put yourself out there purposely in pursuit of happiness? I’m not talking about extreme, reckless mistakes, but instead calculated risks. Maybe stepping out and taking the higher paying job even though you feel unqualified. Saying “no” to someone even if you think you won’t get another chance again. Moving to another neighborhood against everyone’s warnings, because you knew it would bring you greater joy. Dating that new guy, who is different from those you typically date, and being judged for it. These are the types of decisions that keep you up at night, stressed, possibly in tears, because you took a chance, you stepped out on faith, you followed your own dream, and you followed the courage of your convictions.
Take a look at this clip that shows the hard heartfelt moments Kim Kardashian had to face. Her infamous short-lived marriage, the decision she made making a porn video with her ex-boyfriend, and more.
Now okay, yes, Kim Kardashian is a millionaire who has made many controversial choices. I’d assume she lives a comfortable lifestyle most of the time and has had to face some harsh realities. I’m sure she wouldn’t be married with two children right now if she listened to everyone’s advice around her. I remember an episode or two that detailed her experience going to the doctor and undergoing two surgeries just to have her 2nd child. Of course, she has the money to make such things happen but getting pregnant was not a guarantee. I’m also certain it was a very stressful decision to break off a marriage after only 72 days.
I think about my own relationships. There were men I dated who I knew I really didn’t want to date anymore. However, because I feared making a rash decision and not being “nice”, I didn’t break it off. I didn’t want to face the consequence if I made a wrong decision.
Recently, I was so happy that I couldn’t tell anyone. Has this ever happened to you? You’re elated but too afraid to let the world know, or afraid that your exciting news will blow up in your face? Or worse, you share your happy news with a few key people, and they are less than enthusiastic for you?
We must activate and manifest our own aspirations and experiences. When we feel empowered, we make decisions with the passion that follows. Some may think, oh, you’re selfish. But I don’t see that. I see self-love transcending fear so a person can truly be happy.
Now, back to me being happy and hiding it. I realized as we grow and activate a new life, we attract new people and those, who have been in our lives helping along the way, may have to step back for lack of better words. Whatever has been working will probably not work anymore, which means we may need to upgrade our friendships.
As you make new and smarter decisions, your life will evolve in healthier, more stable ways. Those in your life before your transformation may not welcome this new you nor know how to rise to the new level at which you’re operating. I’ve seen it happen in the weirdest situations—as simple as someone changing wardrobes and buying new shoes. Change can annoy a friend or cause jealousy because now you’re receiving attention. They may not understand your new decisions and how you operate. But hold back; leave fear behind and follow your true desires unapologetically.
Keep this in mind:
1. You. Are. Gonna. Piss. People. Off. Yup, best friends, associates, colleagues, whomever. Be ready and get comfortable with the new treatment.
2. Expect covert hostility. All of a sudden, calls to your best friend won’t be returned, your weekly nail appointment is now once a month.
3. Find that one person who is happy for you no matter what and share with her/him until you can start adding new-leveled friends. If that one person starts to buckle, repeat step 1.
4. Learn to be happy for yourself. If you don’t learn to do this, you doubt that your happiness is not deserved. Only you know your progress; celebrate quietly if you need to.
5. Judge less and give more. As you go through your days, pay attention to the ways in which you judge others and pull back your judgments. While doing this, find ways to circulate your love. Volunteer where you can have the greatest impact.